Why He Wasn't There to See Her

The Words:

Reykjavik, staph infection, bad comb-over, penultimate, onerous, artificial flavors, road kill, bauble, Chinese eye candy, Bigfoot, cake plate

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"How dare you, you onerous prick. How dare you take me for some sort of Chinese eye candy..."

"You're not a bauble..."

"Like fuck I'm not... don't try your artificial flavors on me..."

"Oh, come on... the guy was from Reykjavik. I had to go see him. He was such a bla--"

"And I guess Bigfoot would seem a fitting excuse too. You'd even bring pictures!"

"Actually I was thinking more on the lines of a road kill. A poor little kitty who needed a funeral."

"Just admit it won't you? Admit that I am the penultimate reason for coming to town, last being your audacious need to rant about a bad comb-over..."

"Fine. You're the cake plate for my staph infection."