Born

The Words:

caring, love, friend, child, beautiful, handsome, moral, integrity, uplifting, innocent, teenager

**

She held the bundle tenderly, gently cupping her hand to hold the beautiful, golden curls adorned head.

"Oh... oh my god... isn't he handsome Beth? Isn't he?"

She looked up at me and I smiled at my best friend. She looked tired, her own mess of straw colored locks having lost the grace of her usual perfectionism. But she somehow shone, as if encased in a glow of some powerful love still a mystery to me. She was watching him move his tiny mouth open and shut, her lips slightly echoing the movements in a sort of awe.

"How perfectly innocent he looks... how perfectly new and innocent!"

I didn't need to answer... she wasn't talking to me. I closed my eyes halfway, relaxing in my chair a little more than I had allowed myself to these last eight hours. Eight months ago, I had been on her couch, telling her philosophical mind to shut up about morality and integrity and all the uppity jargon that never really impressed my head. All I knew was that she had life in her. Life. Not right or wrong. Not Kant or Heidegger. Life.

And this was supposed to be uplifting, I thought. Watching mother and child bond. Watching that glow grow brighter... I was supposed to feel good. I was supposed to feel the goodness of life. I opened my eyes again and watched her as she traced his chin. The baby must have felt strange because suddenly, he was wailing in his high-pitched, breathless way.

"Beth! Beth! He's crying! Beth... what do I do!?"

I got up slowly and reached for him. She watched me as I hugged the bundle closer, shushing sounds automatically escaping me. He quietened immediately and was soon back into his mothers arms, her worry lines smooth again.

"This is going to be hard." She said to me, "Caring is hard."

I sank back into my chair and let sleep plunge into me like a wave.

"Just wait till he's a teenager, Cassie," I heard myself say, "that's going to be quite a thesis to write."