The Words:
sparrow, curdle, purple, chime, anoint, lace, mirror, stain, rankle, turgid, memory.
Ever since I saw the lace and mirror in the House of Birth, I wanted to live there. They had thick darkish beddings which Jonas once mentioned as "Purple." I still don't know what that means. But I knew that when the chime goes off within the halls of the house, a turgid woman was to go flat again, and that they could eat as much as they ever wanted.
It rankled me when the Elders lingered at my name and occupation, but they said the right thing. The first night was just as everything I could remember of that one visit a month before. Except this time I had a bed. I realize now that stains never showed on them. Neither would the material curdle at being wet. How smart.
I was happy for a year, running and helping and midwifing. But then there were whispers. Why had I not grown? I heard. Where was my load? They gave me several shots, but nothing ever worked. Then after two years they said I was to be anointed. To carry?, I asked. To carry, the man smiled down. I was in a dull room when a man with mask over his face came in. Remember something pretty, he said.
I remembered the day when a little thing that could fly came and settled in our tree. Jonas said it was a sparrow. A bird. They caught it and took it away, and we never saw another one. But I had liked the little thing. It was fat and cheerful. And it could fly. I thought about flying, and the sparrow.
As things were going black, I thought about all the grapes I could eat when I finally carry...
**
Note: If you've ever read Lois Lowry's "The Giver" this passage shouldn't be so strange to you.
**
Grade: B+
sparrow, curdle, purple, chime, anoint, lace, mirror, stain, rankle, turgid, memory.
Ever since I saw the lace and mirror in the House of Birth, I wanted to live there. They had thick darkish beddings which Jonas once mentioned as "Purple." I still don't know what that means. But I knew that when the chime goes off within the halls of the house, a turgid woman was to go flat again, and that they could eat as much as they ever wanted.
It rankled me when the Elders lingered at my name and occupation, but they said the right thing. The first night was just as everything I could remember of that one visit a month before. Except this time I had a bed. I realize now that stains never showed on them. Neither would the material curdle at being wet. How smart.
I was happy for a year, running and helping and midwifing. But then there were whispers. Why had I not grown? I heard. Where was my load? They gave me several shots, but nothing ever worked. Then after two years they said I was to be anointed. To carry?, I asked. To carry, the man smiled down. I was in a dull room when a man with mask over his face came in. Remember something pretty, he said.
I remembered the day when a little thing that could fly came and settled in our tree. Jonas said it was a sparrow. A bird. They caught it and took it away, and we never saw another one. But I had liked the little thing. It was fat and cheerful. And it could fly. I thought about flying, and the sparrow.
As things were going black, I thought about all the grapes I could eat when I finally carry...
**
Note: If you've ever read Lois Lowry's "The Giver" this passage shouldn't be so strange to you.
**
Grade: B+
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1 comment:
B+
You used the idea of memory rather than the word ;)
The voice is different--like someone talking, not smooth like a writer's, which is interesting. Your use of "turgid" makes me smile. I will look up the "The Giver," since you've made me curious :) Once again, I feel like reading the whole story. I hope you use these passages someday for books!
How about these words:
French, pink, dangle, satin, pallor, whip, portrait, chalk, wicked, gloss, gnarl.
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